The Path of Tantra, According to Lindy James
My focus on tantra is less about sex and more about energy, embodiment and intimacy. Energy, or chi, is the life force that courses through us and surrounds our bodies in an energetic field. Embodiment is a skill that invites our presence and awareness of the feeling of the chi energy that flows in and around us. Intimacy is the act of sharing our energy with another.
Being fully embodied lets you feel everything—in your body, and also in your energetic field. It is my belief that we had this ability as very young children. And then, as we grew up, we were told to think more, to hold still, to not act on our impulses. While there are certainly benefits in this, it can also cut us off from our natural energy and the pleasures inherent in freely expressing our sensuality. Embodiment feels delicious. While making love, watching a beautiful sunset, dancing unselfconsciously, embodiment gives you the ability to feel freedom and joy in your body, it touches and awakens your heart, refreshing and enlivening your whole spirit.
Learning about intimacy—if you remember looking into an infant’s eyes, they’re big and trusting, if they haven’t had any abuse. They can look right into your soul and you into theirs. I notice when my adult students first try eye gazing with each other, they’re sometimes shocked and scared. I teach a way to gaze where you’re not invading or being invaded by. Where you simply look out these windows to the soul, in an embodied and present manner, listening on the inside, and looking out at the other. Sharing deep intimacy can sometimes be scary, but it is ultimately a worthy endeavor that is deeply satisfying and nourishing.
In this path of tantra, we learn to think less and feel more. This means listening to our inner wisdom and trusting that, in our bodies, we already know. It also means learning to say our truth and risking the disappointment of another. If someone asks us to do something with them, we learn to tune in to our inner feelings before answering. If it’s a yes, we’ll feel it. If it’s a no, or an I’m not sure, we’ll feel that too.
We learn to say no in a most loving, inviting way, which is a beautiful communication skill to have. “When I tune in, I get a no, but I dearly appreciate your asking.” “When I tune in, I’m not sure. Please ask me again later?”
So, when we learn these skills, and reconnect with the ability to feel that maybe we had as a child, we discover how to get our needs for connection and trust and touch met—without necessarily having to be sexual.
Tantra teaches us to open the flow through all the chakras—using the flow of the second chakra, the sexual center, to fuel the body and feed us with oxytocin dopamine, serotonin, the brain chemicals that shift us from depression to joy, from lethargy to activity, that bring light into our hearts. Sounds good doesn’t it?!
I invite you to join my free online class, A Taste of Tantra. It’s simple, it’s gentle, and it gives you a taste of what I’m talking about here. If that whets your appetite for more, I have a Foundations Training that starts on October 12—it’s four half-day classes, meeting once a month. They’re very simple, everyone going at their own pace, completely at choice in all the exercises. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns.
I started out in much the same way. I took tantra as my path, and that’s how I got where I am now, 30 years later.
Many Blessings,
Lindy Dakini James