What is Tantra?

What is tantra?  For me, tantra is a path – a personal path – that blends stillness, meditation, connection and love making.  With Tantra, less is often more.  Focusing on stillness and presence takes us out of goal orientation, out of being in a hurry.  It is here that we arrive at true intimacy.  True intimacy is a little scary for some.  People can have sex and never really look into each other’s eyes.  Never really look into each other’s heart.

Taking time to slow down and touch with presence, brings such joy.  It brings such love.  At this gentle receptive pace, we learn to find our voice, to speak our boundaries, and to move energy when it’s stuck.  Just the other day I was making love with my partner and I needed to cry.  I knew I needed to cry because I didn’t feel anything.  My sense of heart, my sense of connection sexually, was disappearing.  Rather than fake it, or stop, I said, “Something’s up, I think I need to cry.”  He paused and held me.  After a little bit of tears, the opening happened again and I felt incredibly alive.

Tantra teaches us how to listen to our bodies, how to listen to our hearts and energies and be true to ourselves.  On this path, we naturally become and gravitate toward partners who meet us, who accept without trying to change us, who are supportive.  In the groups I teach, we are all that partner for each other.  We are healers for each other, and we are teachers for each other.  Most of us are not sexual together, though we often run beautiful sensual energy.  We have our clothes on and our hearts open.  When we sit across from our partner, we see The beloved in them. 

 

Sexuality and Aging, A Discussion with Lindy James and Evalena Rose

Sexuality does not need to diminish as we get older  – it can flourish! This is an inspiring discussion on the topic of aging and sexuality between Evalena Rose and Lindy James, two dear friends and elders who have lived the Tantric life for decades.

You can be any age and have a satisfying experience of deep compassionate connection. Sexuality transforms as we age but it doesn’t have to go away. No longer run by the chemistry of our youth or the urge to reproduce, we now have the spaciousness to connect with a slow, lingering heart-to-heart love. In this spaciousness, sensual interaction becomes more fulfilling and joyful. Find us on Facebook at Evalena Rose, The Alchemy of Love and Permission Zone with Lindy James


Maintaining Health through Physical Intimacy (and a kissing lesson) by Lindy James

Neo-Tantra can be good for our immune system and helps keep our spirits up. This morning as I was leading my “Morning Practices” I noticed how my body began to hum. Many of the Neo-Tantric practices are simple ways to move our sexual energies throughout our bodies. I feel my nervous system relax and my heart open. I feel slightly turned on and ready to start my day. As I do my Tantric practices I feel my body open and fill up with the love drug, oxytocin, and it feels so good! *Oxytocin has the ability to undo cortisol’s effects and restore the body’s balance, improving immune function and your odds of fighting off viruses and infections.

If you want more information, read Can you Kiss and Hug Your Way to Better Health? by Penn Medicine

I invite you to join my events as we explore Tantric practices with a beautiful community of loving people. We are online for now, and I look forward to the day we are in-person again. Especially in these turbulent times when stress can become a big deal and challenge our immune system, I find myself asking, “How can I be of service during this time?” Better kissing lessons? How fun!  Along the lines of yummy health, how important is good kissing? I have had this conversation with friends many times and we all agree that good, succulent, kissing is such a delight! Pillow lips are my joy, kissing is one of my most favorite things. I love when kissing comes from the whole body, and you are you aware of your lips, of your breathing, of your heart whilst kissing me! If you want to learn more continue reading.

How do you experience pillow lips? Take a moment and breathe into your body, with long slow breaths until you can feel the chair you sit on, the clothes you wear, feel your breath. Now lick your lips. Relaxed your mouth and let your tongue slowly explore your soft pillow lips, allowing your tongue to feel your lips and your lips feeling your tongue as you breathe and relax. Now kiss the back of your own hand or the palm of your hand with your soft pillow lips. Letting go of thinking and simply be in the felt sense of your lips, your hand, your body. Pulse the pelvic floor muscles, becoming aware of your yoni or lingam and the connection from the lower chakras all the way to the crown of your head. Again kiss your hand as if your genitals are doing the kissing. Now visualize yourself kissing and experiment with giving your hand a quick tight peck. Notice how it feels. If you’re with a friend try the peck kiss on their cheek or on their hand or in alone, your own hand and then find that present juicy pillow lips and kiss their cheek or their hand our your own hand. What’s your preference? We can learn to direct energy from the heart to our hands and to our eyes or through our lips. So very yummy to be kissed with pillow lips and presence.

Happy New Year!
I wish for you more joy and juiciness in 2021
Warmly, Lindy James

* Snuggle away sickness: Cortisol, the stress hormone, prioritizes short-term survival over long-term health. This leads to a weakened immune system and a greater chance of getting sick – unless oxytocin sweeps in and saves the day. Oxytocin has the ability to undo cortisol’s effects and restore the body’s balance, improving immune function and your odds of fighting off viruses and infections. If you’re already eating an apple a day to keep sickness away, consider adding a few smooches to your daily regimen, too!

We Are Here for Each Other

Dearest friends,

May you be at peace, may you be grounded and may your heart be open to guide you.

For me, these strange times are a time to go within and find peace as well as a time to reach out when I need support. This is also a time to show up for another’s request for support. I find that I am navigating pretty well but I have a tendency to “Not need help” when I feel tender, afraid, or just a mess. These days I practice reaching out anyway and I find my friends help me remember that I am lovable just the way I am. Not always easy but worth it.

Even though we can’t be in person, we can still feel each other through a zoom video or phone call. When I feel out of balance, to get myself back in the flow, I let myself cry, I do breathing practices, I laugh with a friend. Of course, I would rather be in-person, I miss seeing you. I have always felt the importance of community as being the family many of us never had. We take care of each other, we are the light for one another and we can show up for each other. We can practice receiving loving care from one another.

Tantra or western Tantra, as you know, is a very big part of my life. For me, Tantra is about listening to the inner wisdom which helps us clear the blocks to our flow of energy. Through inner listening, we can attune to our life force and find the dance within it.

Please join me in the dance of self-care and play in our online Pujas.

Warmly, Lindy James           lindy@lindyjames.com

Welcome to Tantra at the Permission Zone, with Lindy James

Lindy James describes her introduction to Tantra, how it changed her life and how it changes the lives of those she works with. Tantra is about learning to trust yourself and listen to your body. Re-connecting with the body is a primary factor. Through the practice of “neo-Tantra”, we create intimacy and connection in this modern world. Tantra is a technique that can help keep the spark of a relationship alive. This practice allows for “shoulds” to dissolve, and the experience of safety and relaxation to emerge. Lindy has beginner and intermediate classes, and an upcoming 7-month Tantra training which takes place one Saturday a month.

For more information or questions about upcoming courses, you may write to Lindy at lindy@lindyjames.com.

 

Summer Solstice Newsletter 2019

Dear friends,

It is my great joy to bring Tantra to our community and share my love for this practice that brings more peace in the world. I am grateful for all the lessons learned through my relationships with Hakomi, Buddhism, Tantra and the Horses (that have been a big part of my life since I was young), and have taught me so much about presence, mindfulness and honesty. I am especially grateful for you, my students, who show up in your vulnerability and trust as we explore the present moment together.

The path of Tantra is so much more than a guide to better relationships and sexuality, it includes healing, expanding intimacy and the gift of community. In community we are held, seen and supported as we open to new levels of freedom and joy. This kind of community is a place where we can have our desires for connection met. A place where we can practice loving relationships without having to wait until “the one” shows up; we are all “the one” for each other.

Through listening to the wisdom of the body we learn to trust our own knowing. As we shed the habitual patterns of the past, our world expands, our hearts, our minds and our sexuality become more and more free, free to express, free to share, free to say no and free to say yes! Your willingness to express your truth in the moment, allows your beauty emerge. And that is the beauty I have the honor to witness in YOU.

Warmest regards, Lindy James

Tantra as a Sacred Path

Bringing the whole self to the moment,

The subject of Tantra or Sacred Sexuality is really about bringing your whole being to every moment. This includes sexuality and making love. I often feel as if the whole being is making love all the time and It is viewing all of life as sacred. As the sunrise each morning brings light to the world both symbolically and literally, we are bringing light to into the world of relating and intimacy. (Into me see) can be one of the scariest things that humans experience and also long for. To be seen and met is one of the most nourishing gifts we can receive and give in life. In all my sessions and classes I teach practices that deepen intimacy with ourselves, each other and with the world around us.

Our spirit or inner wisdom speaks to us through our bodies, however we can miss important messages if we are disconnected. Developing an ability to listen to the softer, gentler messages arising in the body informs us of the truth in any given moment. What would it be like to be in tune to true inner listening? So many of us have had a less than perfect introduction to our sexuality. When sexuality becomes hurtful or scary we tend to leave the body, retreating into thoughts and distractions instead of feelings, sensations and emotions. Therefore we are less connected to the body and it’s natural wisdoms. Although the subject of Tantra or sacred sexuality often brings up fear or guardedness or fantasy it can be a deeply healing process. I was terrified at first and yet my longing to feel more connection kept me on the path.

As we develop more awareness in the body, more inner listening, we begin to experience sexuality in a different light. Through the practices of Tantra we begin to feel a sense of safety and newness in exploring intimacy and connection in our lives.

When we develop a deep inner listening to our heart and our body, and when we begin speaking our truth our body starts to trust us. This trust becomes the doorway to a relaxed and peaceful state of being.

Tantra is the bringing of sexuality and spirit together. There was a time in my life I had very little connection between my heart and my sexuality. My first experience with sex gave me the impression that sex had nothing to do with love. I also had very little feeling of pleasure during sex. Although I wanted to have sex for the physical contact, I still felt sexually unsatisfied.

Tantra brought me such a sense of honoring and divine communion that I began to feel more open, more pleasure and more love. As I continue to choose to bring awareness, prayer and deep intimacy into all my interactions my relationship to my sexuality continues to blossom. Tantra became my spiritual path and my work as a teacher and healer. I love to support the positive changes this work can bring to people’s lives.

learning to fly

Dear friends,

I hope this newsletter finds you well and enjoying Spring with all the hatching, growing and flowering going on.

I’m enjoying watching 3 fledgling hawks having grown too big for the nest, still sitting on branches near the nest and peeping like babies. They seem nervous about taking flight yet this is the time to take flight. Maybe this sounds familiar?
🙂

I too am feeling the fear and the excitement of taking flight. As I speak with loved ones around me, I have a sense that many of us are being challenged to grow into the next step in our lives.

These past weeks, I’m finding lots of change happening in my life for which I’m needing to take deep breaths to stay grounded… mostly. I ask myself the question, “How do I expand to include this?”

The thing I pay attention to is whether my body relaxes with the idea of this change or not, regardless of whether it scares me. The body has such deep wisdom to guide us.

I’m admitting the truth even when it’s not easy and letting go of parts of my life that I’ve always held dear! And yet I trust in my direction, feeling more freedom to take flight in my life.

It is my joy to help you walk through these changes that we are all being called upon to make.

Simply being held can be the perfect medicine reminding you that you are not alone.

Sending my love and support,
Lindy Dakini James