One of the things that feels important to me about the work I do, is creating community.  As we learn tantra, we are learning the skills to speak lovingly and to care for one another.  In our tantra community, we have each other to practice good communication with, to practice loving and supporting, to practice moving the energies of our sexuality and sensuality.

It’s such a gift to have the support of community as we break the rules and taboos that may have held us back and made us smaller.  There are so many of them.  For instance, I often say that I’m a recovering good girl or nice girl.  In this role, we give at our own expense.  It can be extremely challenging to break the habit, or dare I say addiction, to being nice and being liked as opposed to risk disappointing others by being authentic.

Yes, being a pleaser or a nice person can be outside of our truth.  That said, being kind and loving can be authentic.  We don’t have to abandon being nice, to be authentic.  But loving kindness can look like saying, “No.”  It can look like saying, “This doesn’t serve me.”  Here in this tantra community, we can learn ways to speak in alignment with truth and love.

During my group events, we build a trusted community where we can be an evolving mess!  We can come into the room in tears, in rapture, or in fear and ask for what we need.  It’s a place to play and practice asking for what we need.  To lay in each other’s arms.  To laugh, to cry, to be held.  To be witnessed, as we grow.

And in addition to being witnessed, we get to witness!  It is an incredible gift to behold another’s transformation.  I invite you to experience the wholeness of tantra, as we learn to breathe through everything and stay in our truth, in community, in love.  

What I’ve noticed is that a lot of people are more comfortable in their left brain – a thinking mind figuring it out – and less comfortable in their right brain of awareness.  Awareness allows for intuition, insight and presence.  Although the thinking mind is necessary for building bridges and creating programs, the awareness brain is equally important to life.  In awareness, we come to understand our truth about things, and to notice how our body speaks.

When you feel an emotion, where in your body do you feel it?
If you feel sad, what sensations occur with your grief?

It’s common to feel a sensation and then start to ask WHY.  But analysis can cut us off from our body.  In truth, we don’t need to effort so much trying to figure out the whys or the causes.  As we are present to what happens in our bodies, understanding often arises.

My biggest ethos, you might say, is embodiment – that practice of tuning in to the body and its wisdom.

Listening to the body can tell us what we want.  The body can clue us into what foods will best nourish us, who we want to spend time with, and what decisions we authentically desire to make.  And in conflict, long before we are fully triggered and seeing red, there are warning messages the body shows.

Listening to the body can tell us how to be in relationship with friends, family, or our beloveds and partners.

What do I want?
How do I want to play?
In the realm of sexuality – what would feel good?
How do I open to this?
How do I dance with the beauty of what my yoni or lingam wants?

If we follow what arises as inner knowing rather than the thinking mind, we can stay unhooked from  habits and stories that lead us astray.  We can be present in the truth of the moment.

And in my world of teaching Tantra, we listen to the body and practice connecting that with our voice.  In this embodied awareness, we find our clear boundaries and do the work to heal any hurt, abuse, or fears that may be holding us back from connection and love.

Tantra gives a loving container to shift the fears that can come up with having Beliefs like, “I won’t be loved or I’ll be abandoned.”

For me, embodiment has made the biggest difference in healing, in relating, and in truly knowing and trusting my inner wisdom.

I invite you to take my hand and explore how transformative embodiment can be.

If you are new to sacred sensuality, I welcome you and your beloveds to attend A Taste of Tantra, which is an introductory (and free!) tantra course that I offer on a regular basis.  Please see my online events for more.

For couples or pairs of friends, you may enjoy my Neo-Tantra class (a 5-class series) which I offer on an ongoing basis.  Zoom gives the perfect medium for community and privacy, as we engage in lovely practices to re-spark connection and deepen intimacy.  If you’ve been curious, now is the time to lean in!  See my events page for all my offerings.

With warmest regards,
Lindy James

What is tantra?  For me, tantra is a path – a personal path – that blends stillness, meditation, connection and love making.  With Tantra, less is often more.  Focusing on stillness and presence takes us out of goal orientation, out of being in a hurry.  It is here that we arrive at true intimacy.  True intimacy is a little scary for some.  People can have sex and never really look into each other’s eyes.  Never really look into each other’s heart.

Taking time to slow down and touch with presence, brings such joy.  It brings such love.  At this gentle receptive pace, we learn to find our voice, to speak our boundaries, and to move energy when it’s stuck.  Just the other day I was making love with my partner and I needed to cry.  I knew I needed to cry because I didn’t feel anything.  My sense of heart, my sense of connection sexually, was disappearing.  Rather than fake it, or stop, I said, “Something’s up, I think I need to cry.”  He paused and held me.  After a little bit of tears, the opening happened again and I felt incredibly alive.

Tantra teaches us how to listen to our bodies, how to listen to our hearts and energies and be true to ourselves.  On this path, we naturally become and gravitate toward partners who meet us, who accept without trying to change us, who are supportive.  In the groups I teach, we are all that partner for each other.  We are healers for each other, and we are teachers for each other.  Most of us are not sexual together, though we often run beautiful sensual energy.  We have our clothes on and our hearts open.  When we sit across from our partner, we see The beloved in them. 

 

Neo-Tantra can be good for our immune system and helps keep our spirits up. This morning as I was leading my “Morning Practices” I noticed how my body began to hum. Many of the Neo-Tantric practices are simple ways to move our sexual energies throughout our bodies. I feel my nervous system relax and my heart open. I feel slightly turned on and ready to start my day. As I do my Tantric practices I feel my body open and fill up with the love drug, oxytocin, and it feels so good! *Oxytocin has the ability to undo cortisol’s effects and restore the body’s balance, improving immune function and your odds of fighting off viruses and infections.

If you want more information, read Can you Kiss and Hug Your Way to Better Health? by Penn Medicine

I invite you to join my events as we explore Tantric practices with a beautiful community of loving people. We are online for now, and I look forward to the day we are in-person again. Especially in these turbulent times when stress can become a big deal and challenge our immune system, I find myself asking, “How can I be of service during this time?” Better kissing lessons? How fun!  Along the lines of yummy health, how important is good kissing? I have had this conversation with friends many times and we all agree that good, succulent, kissing is such a delight! Pillow lips are my joy, kissing is one of my most favorite things. I love when kissing comes from the whole body, and you are you aware of your lips, of your breathing, of your heart whilst kissing me! If you want to learn more continue reading.

How do you experience pillow lips? Take a moment and breathe into your body, with long slow breaths until you can feel the chair you sit on, the clothes you wear, feel your breath. Now lick your lips. Relaxed your mouth and let your tongue slowly explore your soft pillow lips, allowing your tongue to feel your lips and your lips feeling your tongue as you breathe and relax. Now kiss the back of your own hand or the palm of your hand with your soft pillow lips. Letting go of thinking and simply be in the felt sense of your lips, your hand, your body. Pulse the pelvic floor muscles, becoming aware of your yoni or lingam and the connection from the lower chakras all the way to the crown of your head. Again kiss your hand as if your genitals are doing the kissing. Now visualize yourself kissing and experiment with giving your hand a quick tight peck. Notice how it feels. If you’re with a friend try the peck kiss on their cheek or on their hand or in alone, your own hand and then find that present juicy pillow lips and kiss their cheek or their hand our your own hand. What’s your preference? We can learn to direct energy from the heart to our hands and to our eyes or through our lips. So very yummy to be kissed with pillow lips and presence.

Happy New Year!
I wish for you more joy and juiciness in 2021
Warmly, Lindy James

* Snuggle away sickness: Cortisol, the stress hormone, prioritizes short-term survival over long-term health. This leads to a weakened immune system and a greater chance of getting sick – unless oxytocin sweeps in and saves the day. Oxytocin has the ability to undo cortisol’s effects and restore the body’s balance, improving immune function and your odds of fighting off viruses and infections. If you’re already eating an apple a day to keep sickness away, consider adding a few smooches to your daily regimen, too!

Lindy James describes her introduction to Tantra, how it changed her life and how it changes the lives of those she works with. Tantra is about learning to trust yourself and listen to your body. Re-connecting with the body is a primary factor. Through the practice of “neo-Tantra”, we create intimacy and connection in this modern world. Tantra is a technique that can help keep the spark of a relationship alive. This practice allows for “shoulds” to dissolve, and the experience of safety and relaxation to emerge. Lindy has beginner and intermediate classes, and an upcoming 7-month Tantra training which takes place one Saturday a month.

For more information or questions about upcoming courses, you may write to Lindy at lindy@lindyjames.com.