Tantra teaches us to create a sacred container where the field of Love can blossom. How do we get there?

This experience comes naturally when we feel safe to open and relax.

Boundaries: We can learn to have clear boundaries and agreements around how we share closeness.  First, we speak up and say what we need and want.  Second, we listen to the other for what they need and want.  Then there’s the possibility for Love to blossom.

Kind vs Nice: Sometimes it can be challenging when we fear that we might disappoint someone.  Yet when we speak our truth, the body often feels more alive and open. This takes practice!  Learning to say no in kind loving ways can help maintain connection and build trust with our partner(s).  Ultimately, we trust others more when we know they will tell us the truth, even if they think we won’t like it!

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’ doesn’t make any sense.
Rumi

Being “nice” by saying yes, even when we feel a no, is a habitual behavior pattern.  When we break this and other habits, it opens the possibility for freedom of choice.

In relation to my work, I feel the field of love most of the time.  It’s a feeling of unconditional love that brings me such joy!  I have the honor to witness my students dropping into this field of love, by deeply listening with caring kindness to each other.

I’ve said before that I see Tantra as a spiritual path to awaken to our own true nature.  Tantra is considered a yoga, a union.  For me, it’s a union with my own divinity and a reflection of the divine.

On the path of awakening, there is healing that naturally happens.  It’s powerful for me to watch my clients step out of their habitual patterns of self-denial, lack of trust, and holding back — into a place of radiance, blooming, and consistent aliveness. 

For those who have been used, abused or even raped, Tantra (the way I offer it – every teacher is different) offers a slow steady journey back to aliveness; back to awakening in all of the chakras.

For example: the second chakra is the sexual center, and it is often shut down and blocked.  As it gets turned back on, opened and cleared of all the woundings and the hurt, we come back to a form of wholeness.  From that space, we are empowered to move from our authenticity: whether that is to make love, be sensual, or to not be sexual, if that’s our truth.  A thriving 2nd chakra also feeds our creativity!

The third chakra is our power center.  A whole and healed power center stops us from giving our power away – it ignites us to be bold, to set our boundaries, and to speak our truth.

There is so much more to what Tantra really is, and it’s my joyful mission to help guide your path.  I take people along in gentle steps, all the way to advanced practices.

I invite you to join me as we explore the Tantric path to Love, Healing and Aliveness.  Please contact me with any questions, curiosities or needed support.

In my experience, there is often confusion around the topic of Tantra.  Misconceptions cloud up what Tantra is, and could be.

At my first Tantra training, I was 34 years old, and terrified.

I had preconceived ideas about Tantra, and I certainly didn’t fit that mold.  Luckily, though, in the back of my mind, I had an example of one of my friends who had done the same Tantra training and continued the Tantra practices she learned.  Each time we visited, I saw she was looking more radiant and more confident.

Most workshops I’ve done create a high without any true transformation. But when I witnessed her Tantric changes staying and growing, I was inspired enough to get past my resistance.

My Tantric path has been a wonderful journey of trusting my body, finding my voice, and feeling the divine nature of myself as a sensual woman. I am so grateful to all my teachers and trainings.

Myth #1 – Tantra is all about hot, and maybe even group sex

Beautiful love making is but one of the benefits of learning Tantra. Healing the blocks to deeper intimacy and heart opening connection is a pathway to: safety, confidence, self-love and more energy!  

A big part of Tantra is authenticity.  Using our voice is sexy!  When we can honestly express our needs and desires, the menu of satisfying options ranges from sexual play to heart centered stillness.  When we tell the truth, our body trusts us more.  We feel more relaxed, and that relaxation opens us to pleasure and union with the moment.

Myth #2 – You have to be young and beautiful to do Tantra

Anyone can learn the practices and teachings of Tantra. Learning the art of Tantra can begin at any age, any shape, any gender. The beauty comes from within as we love and accept ourselves. I feel more beautiful now than when I was younger, thinner and in better shape!

We all have the basic ability to open ourselves to the healing and awakening practices of the Tantric path.  Our sexual energy becomes fuel for living life with magical aliveness!  And part of that path of opening includes self-love, and if desired, relationship with other(s).

Myth #3 – You have to have a partner in order to start or practice Tantra

Tantra offers many solo practices to tune our energy and learn to listen to the inner wisdom of our body.

Additionally, we can connect with friends (sexual or more often non-sexual) to learn the path of love together.  In Tantra, we create a safe container within which we can share: Fears, Desires & Boundaries in any given practice time. I call this: learning with a Tantra buddy.  Instead of waiting for “The One,” we are all “The One” learning together. 

The way that I look at Tantra: It’s a spiritual path to awaken to our own true nature.  Tantra is considered a yoga, a union.  For me, it’s a union with my own divinity and a reflection of the divine. I invite you to join me as we explore the Tantric path to Love, Healing and Aliveness.

I offer private sessions for individuals or couples.  We meet either online or in my home office near Santa Cruz.  Book a Free Discovery Session to connect with me.  Or visit my website for a full list of event offerings.

Dedicated to your fulfillment,
Lindy James

People’s responses to the concept of self-care often exist on a spectrum.  When self-care is seen as a luxury, it’s often judged as being selfish.  If we aren’t getting sh*t done, we are wasting time on something that’s not important.  From another view, filling every minute of every day can be an exhausting habit.  The self-care of reading and naps could be a necessity to avoid crashing.

Growing up, I got approval for being productive; I was praised for what I did for others, and for what I got done.  This gave me a sense of value and lovability.  It also gave me the habit of neglecting my tiredness and needs for rest.

By my mid 30s, I was on the verge of a total breakdown.  I believed that love was won by giving everything and needing nothing.  Self-reliance is great to a point, but it can go too far.  When I finally shared with a friend about how I was falling apart, her shocked reply was, “I had no idea you needed help.”

Today, I teach my students about the value of self-care and self-attunement.  It’s true that being productive gives me a feeling of healthy satisfaction.  The problem lies in pushing beyond my body’s wisdom.  When we lose the ability to see the line being crossed, we start doing things at the cost of our well-being.  We are out of attunement.

When I carve out time to read my book, sit by the fire, or watch a movie, I can feel guilty.  When I feel squirmy and on edge during self-care, part of my self-attunement practice is to simply sit and feel it.

It takes wisdom and courage to rest while there’s a voice in my head saying, “You’re wasting time; this isn’t producing; you won’t get approval for this.”  

If we can resist the threat of that productive story, our reward is peace.

When it comes to healing our sexuality and relationships, it is imperative that we keep attunement with our bodies, our spirit and with each chakra –  especially our sexual center.  Attunement is key to opening our creative and joyful sensuality.

 

What are the things that tune you?  

 

Self-care is not a luxury, it’s necessary for our health and well-being!

I hope you give yourself the gift of rest and stillness as we move through this time of winter hibernation.

Warmly,
Lindy James

We are naturally creatures of connection.  We need touch.  Touch is a part of our health and well being.  Even before the added caution and scarcity of covid, the simple request of asking, “Can you put your arms around me?” may seem foreign and scary.

A few years ago, I was talking to a friend of mine and said, “You know when you cuddle with your other friends…” and before I could finish my sentence she interrupted to say, “Lindy, we only cuddle with you.  We don’t cuddle with our other friends.”  I was shocked.

We are not getting enough touch.  I was surprised to find that cuddling is not what everyone does.  My naivety.

It has been one of my missions in life to show people that simply laying in each other’s arms can be so nurturing, nourishing, and healing.

Back in the day when I had a king size bed, it was lovingly referred to as: the church of Lindy’s bed.  We would pile onto this big bed after dinner or on a Sunday morning with coffee and croissants (oh that’s so naughty!).  We would tell stories, cuddle, laugh, cry and share about what’s going on in our life.

I got so comfortable with this intimate connecting that it spilled over into other arenas of life.  At Dance Church (years ago), there was a strapping young man who was dancing on his hands.  I thought to myself how strong he looked.

Later on, I found him sitting in the chill, rest and whisper corner.  I approached and began with, “Would you do me a favor?”  He said, “Yeah, what’s that?”  I said, “Would you just put your arms around me and squeeze me?”  I know that’s a highly unusual request of a stranger, but he said, “Sure!”  I leaned back into his chest, and he put his arms around me while continuing a conversation with the person next to him.  This man’s energy was very clean.  I wept, I laughed, I felt restored.  Afterwards, I thanked him and went back onto the dance floor.  There was no stickiness.  No fondling.  No rescuing.  It was very natural.  Somehow my instincts could see that.  Even now, I have a smile on my face and an opening in my heart.

When I was a child, there was so much difficulty in my home life.  I remember thinking/knowing, “This is not how it’s supposed to be.”  As I grew older, I realized that loving presence (I didn’t have a name for it back then) and caring for each other is how it’s supposed to be.

Humanity has veered away from that.

Yet we, in our community, in our Tantra bubble, have become that loving presence for each other.  Often, when we feel like, “I shouldn’t come, I don’t feel good, I’m sad…” this can be the best time to come to class, to come to puja.  Puja literally translates to “sacred ritual.”

I invite you to come be with the community and be held.  Laugh, cry, and learn to ask for what you want and what you need.  Also learn to hear, “No, ask me again later.”  The initial sting of a “not now” fades once we come to trust that when someone says Yes, they mean it!

We are all meant to be held, seen and loved for who we are…For our humanity.

I look forward to meeting you again, and again and again.

Love,
Lindy