Holding the Love and Navigating the Holidays

Holidays are upon us.

A mixture of emotions : perhaps joy, magic, confusion.

Plus, a pandemic is still in the air…potentially polarizing friends, family and communities.

There’s been deep conflict on and off throughout history.  Personally, I’ve become more aware of politics in the last 4-5 years than ever before.  I’ve witnessed how anyone can find information to support what they think and believe.  Extremes are causing conflict in the world, in my world, and I imagine in your life as well.

Conflict with people I love breaks my heart, and I feel my instinct to armor up.  A part of me wants to go numb, to place protective shielding around my heart.  I hesitate to share my choices and beliefs.

If this sounds at all true for you, I’m so sorry.  May we keep returning to this present moment and holding the love.

It’s important for me to remember that I don’t need to change anyone else’s mind.  That’s not empowerment.  My empowerment lies in feeling my grounding to the earth, my expansion to the boundless sky, my tuning and attuning inward.  At the core, that is what Tantra does for me.  Tantra helps me dissolve the armor and see through broader eyes.  It can be so difficult, but I keep coming back to a grounded center, as best I can.  Asking spirit to guide me.

For me, holding the love is about community supporting each other in the very basics of: speaking our truth, our boundaries, our desires, and listening openly to others.  Holding the love does not look like fighting for the rightness of my opinion.  It’s listening and saying, “What I hear you saying is…please help me understand.”  That’s been a big challenge of mine.

To be the change that we want to see in the world, it starts right at home in our own hearts (I’m tapping my heart).  Holding the love doesn’t mean we agree.

If polarizing conflict is happening in your life, know that you are not alone.  Finding our way back to peace is more important than being right.  If you’re struggling within yourself, the question I’d ask is, “Am I listening to the story or the storyteller?”  Often anger or unkind words give me the right to be angry or unkind right back.  Underneath those painful expressions is usually fear, sadness or a sense of not being safe.  Listen to what’s underneath and try to reflect the heart of what’s being said.  Listen and get curious.  In the face of big energy, practice grounding.  Get information rather than going into righteousness and war.

It’s so good for me to express this.  Thank you for reading.  I hope to see you in community sometime soon.  This Tantra community is here to hold the love as we continue to open back up back into loving space with one another.

Here’s a song that helps me find my grounding in love:

All my love,
Lindy dakini James

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